Withering
by Farmer Blob
Summary: *SongFic* *Disarm by the Smashing Pumpkins* Nny and Devi see eachother on a rainy night. No words are exchanged. I suppose this could be considered Angsty. R+R if you have time.
1. Part 1: Nny

Withering  
-------  
  
This is my second fic! Yay! Yet.. it's another song fic. Oh well, song fics are easier and since I'm sort of new at fanfiction (well, the getting the guts to post it part), I suppose song fics are decent to start with.  
ANYWAY!  


So, the song this time is "Disarm" by the Smashing Pumpkins. Yay.. it's my favorite song.  


This is Nny's feelings reflecting on Devi, and then the second half of the song is Devi's feelings. Original, no? *sigh* Ah well, I guess you all should just give it a shot. I hope you like it!  
  
Thanks!  
  
_-Farmer Blob-_

___________________________  
- ______________________ -  
  
* -- -- *  
**Part 1: Nny's point of View  
**_(The first half of the song)_**  
**  
  
Nny held his trench coat as he trudged in the rain. He was always calmed by the music in the rain, and didn't mind it's coldness dampening his clothes. To him, it kept him warm.  
  
Walking down the sidewalk of a sleeping town, streetlights stand lit. However, he recognized a figure standing under the pale orange light; waiting for a bus perhaps.  
  
Devi stood, unknowing of the danger that stands but a few feet away. The lamp flickered and she kicked the post.  
  
Nny couldn't help but smile at the sight. She must've heard him take a step, as she turned and faced the smiling murderer.  
  
_**Disarm you with a smile.**_  
  
She couldn't move. He was there. The crazy son of a bitch who tried to kill her.  
  
The smile scared her; yet, she couldn't help but wonder what there was to smile about. Their positions? Standing under the rain? Her in the light; him in the dark. Rain dripped dangerously.   
  
As much as she wanted to scream and run, a feelingful sparkle glittered in his eye.  
  
_**And cut you like you want me to.**_  
  
However, they continued to stand but a few feet away.  
  
_**Cut that little child,  
inside of me and such a part of you.**_  
  
Nny was surprised at her action. Her action of no motion. She stood; not risking her life by letting her eyes off of him.  
  
However, the longer they stood, the more strong Devi became. Her eyes slowly showed a feeling of anger.  
  
Anger. Memories pinned Nny down. The memory of his life; the color red.  
  
_**Ooh, the years burn..  
Ooh, the years burn..**_  
  
The memories of it all; all of his dark, steaming life rised to his mind. How long? How long has this been going on? Was he like this when he was a child? Why did those memories turn up so rusted?  
  
_**I used to be a little boy,  
so old in my shoes.**_  
  
But, no, it didn't matter. He couldn't change what he'd done. He's now stuck with the horrors he carries with him day in and day out.  
  
_**And what I choose is my choice,  
what's a boy supposed to do?**_  


It's not like he killed anybody of importance; they cause their own death.  
  
_**The killer in me is the killer in you.**_

  
Yet, when he tried to kill Devi, it was different. She wasn't the killer that time; he was. Because he was too afraid to lose her.  
  
_**My love,  
I send this smile over to you.**_

__

Continue.. --


	2. Part 2: Devi

Withering  
-------  
  
  
* -- -- *  
**Part 2: Devi's point of View  
**_(The second half of the song)_  
  
Devi still couldn't move. Suddenly, the bus drove up, and before Nny could even reach out a hand, she ran inside.   
  
He looked sorrowfully at the bus as they looked at eachother through the window.  
  
She smiled at him; left him rooted to the sidewalk.  
  
_**Disarm you with a smile.**_  
  
She watched Nny's thin figure fade into the blackness. He probably thought she was just stubborn, but no.. He wouldn't understand what it's like to be alone. For her entire life, she's tried to find someone, and when she thought she did, he took off his mask.   
  
_**Well, now he can feel what it's like to be alone.  
  
And leave you like they left me here,  
to wither in denial.  
  
The bitterness of one who's left alone.**_  
  
Her past wasn't one which you would consider a bedtime story.   
Lonelyness,  
Paranoia,  
Sickness.  
  
_**Ooh, the years burn..  
Ooh, the years burn..  
Burn..  
Burn..  
Burn..  
  
I used to be a little boy,  
so old in my shoes.**_  
  
So what if she decides to live alone? He killed every last hope she had of finding somebody. How dare he try to push her?  
  
_**And what I choose is my choice,  
what's a boy supposed to do?**_  
  
They didn't have to be in this position if he would of only talked to her instead of pretending as though the relationship was going somewhere. It's entirely HIS fault that they're alone.  
  
_**The killer in me is the killer in you.**_  
  
However.. something inside of her still hopes.  
  
That's when you want to rip your heart out and replace it with a stone.  
  
Why did she smile? She felt ashamed that her smile escaped; the smile that could talk more than words..  
  
_**My love,  
I send this smile over to you.**_

*The End*  
Go to the next chapter to see what the lyrics meant in more detail..  
  
If you're not interested, let me just thank you for reading.  
Thanks!  
-Farmer Blob-  
Luv ya!  



	3. Part 3: Lyric Definitions

Withering  
-------

Part 3: Definitions  
_(What the lyrics mean)  
  
  
  
Nny:  
_

Disarm you with a smile  
(Nny shocks her by smiling at her. He disarmed her)_****_

  
And cut you like you want me to   
(Ok.. He's the one cutting her. No, not with a knife; with his feelings. They hurt her because well.. that's obviouse. So, he cuts her with his feelings, but deep down, she wants to be cut; she wants someone to feel those feelings for her)_**  
  
Cut that little child,  
inside of me and such a part of you.  
**_(By showing his feelings, their childish game of 'i hate you' is cut. They both played the game, so they both had children inside of them.)_**   
  
  
Ooh, the years burn..   
Ooh, the years burn..   
**_(Nny's past hurts him)_**  
  
  
I used to be a little boy,   
so old in my shoes   
**_(Nny says how he used to be a little boy, but he can't remember anything about his childhood. Just trust me on this, cuz this is hard to explain.^_^)_**  
  
And what I choose is my choice   
What's a boy supposed to do?   
**_(He decides that there's nothing he can do to change it, and what he chooses is his own choice and nobody should bother him. He can't remember anything worth remembering, he's still a boy in a way, and what is a scared boy supposed to do?)_**  
  
The killer in me is the killer in you..  
**_(Nny has already told about how he believes that victoms to murders are actually the ones that ended their on death, so this refers to that.)_**  
  
My love,   
I send this smile over to you.  
**_(Nny can't help but smile at her. It can't get much more simple than that.)  


  
  
_Devi:_  
  
_**  
Disarm you with a smile  
**_(Devi smiles at him through the window on the bus, so he is left shocked; disarmed)_****_

  
And leave you like they left me here,   
to wither in denial.   
(She then plans on getting over him; right then and there. He's going to be left in her past to wither in his denial. She doesn't think he understands what she feels, so she's going to 'give him a lesson'.)_**  
  
The bitterness of one who's left alone   
**_(Surprisingly, she's referring to herself. She makes a slight comment of how she's being bitter, but it's because she's alone; which is Nny's fault.)_**  
  
Ooh, the years burn..   
Ooh, the years burn..  
Burn..  
Burn..  
Burn..  
**_(Devi's past isn't the greatest either. She was alone (still is, in case you haven't noticed ^_^), she's somewhat paranoid, and well, she has/had Sickness. Her years hurt as well.)_**  
  
I used to be a little boy,   
so old in my shoes.  
  
And what I choose is my voice,   
what's a boy supposed to do?  
**_(She used to be a little 'GIRL' but oh well. So, she's now talking about her teen years, when she would try to get a boyfriend. Well, now it's old news; she's not trying anymore. It's her choice, what does anybody else care? Deep down she's still a lonely, little girl, but what's a little girl going to do?)_**  
  
The killer in me is the killer in you..  
**_(She blames it all on him. Everything. Their lonelyness. So, similar to Nny's lyric, this is stating that it's HIS fault. The killer (of the relationship) in her, was actually him.)_**  
  
My love,   
I send this smile over to you.  
**_(She's not doing this! No! She's referring to the smile she sent throught the window. When she sent the smile, she was returning his unconsciously. So, the smile was the same as Nny's, except from Devi. She's only referring to how her smile talked more than words could)  
  
  
Yep. Thats it.  
Thanks for reading!!  
: ^ )  
  
Luv ya!  
-Farmer Blob-

  



End file.
